Most of us don't think about things unless we have too. I think that all of us are searching for something. We are searching for a place to fit and belong. We also often find ourselves letting things creep into our lives that don't exactly need to be there. These things definitely make life hard. I think that our own sin and Satan have a lot to do with how long these things stay in our life.
I keep experiencing doubt about being where we are right now as a family. I often question our decision to be here at Seminary. There are so many days that I just want to quit. I know that Steve feels the same way. Feeling this way, I begin to let worry, loneliness, and fear just accompany me. I know that Steve and I as a family have very few here that we can count on. We just have not had time to build the community that we need. He works with some great people, but they seem so distant to me. He knows that he can count on them. I just think that we live to far from our church for me to count on them. I know that when a person doesn't make friends and build a community of believers around them that it is their own fault. I do own it.
This may be all self pity, but as I look back over my last 3 years. I have no idea where Steve and I would have had the time to build strong Christian friendships. This may be just an excuse. I do know that I have let something creep into my life. I think that my own sin and Satan has really enjoyed it. It is called pride. I keep thinking that my family's journey can be done alone. I am realizing that doing things all by yourself creates a hardship that does not need to be there. So, what am I searching for? Who else-God! I am going to ask God to bring some Texas Christian believing friends by our side.
I just will never know why we as a people feel the need to have pride in our lives. I mean it would be so much easier to let God help! So what are you searching for?
About Me
- Wendy
- I live where the open sky never ends. I love my children, and I like to teach. My favorite pastime is cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning!
4 comments:
what an honest and transparent entry...i can relate. i think by praying and asking for a community, you will be amazed at how God will provide.
I enjoy solitude. I think that is why I am okay with being so far away from family and friends, but I also know that no matter where I go, they will always be family and friends and they will always be there when I need them. But I can not deny that there are definite times when I am lonely and looking to having a true friend who is physically near to me. It is a struggle and I always decide that I am far better enjoying my life with Ross and the boys "alone" than living a lifestyle we do not want back in the states just so we can have physical comforts. But then again, after reading your post Wendy, that may very well be my Pride. I'll have to think on that some more.
I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog. It brought a smile right away becuase it is the same template I used on mine. :) We moved here recently and are also praying for Christian friends- friends that stick closer than a brother. I'm standing on a verse right now that may also be a help to you- I'm sure you know it but you know faith comes from hearing and hearing from the Word- so--here's some Word for you.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
I typed a "book" of an email to thinking I could reply to you that way but it didn't go through. Is there a way we can swap emails without sharing them on the blog??
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