Pride

Most of us don't think about things unless we have too. I think that all of us are searching for something. We are searching for a place to fit and belong. We also often find ourselves letting things creep into our lives that don't exactly need to be there. These things definitely make life hard. I think that our own sin and Satan have a lot to do with how long these things stay in our life.

I keep experiencing doubt about being where we are right now as a family. I often question our decision to be here at Seminary. There are so many days that I just want to quit. I know that Steve feels the same way. Feeling this way, I begin to let worry, loneliness, and fear just accompany me. I know that Steve and I as a family have very few here that we can count on. We just have not had time to build the community that we need. He works with some great people, but they seem so distant to me. He knows that he can count on them. I just think that we live to far from our church for me to count on them. I know that when a person doesn't make friends and build a community of believers around them that it is their own fault. I do own it.

This may be all self pity, but as I look back over my last 3 years. I have no idea where Steve and I would have had the time to build strong Christian friendships. This may be just an excuse. I do know that I have let something creep into my life. I think that my own sin and Satan has really enjoyed it. It is called pride. I keep thinking that my family's journey can be done alone. I am realizing that doing things all by yourself creates a hardship that does not need to be there. So, what am I searching for? Who else-God! I am going to ask God to bring some Texas Christian believing friends by our side.

I just will never know why we as a people feel the need to have pride in our lives. I mean it would be so much easier to let God help! So what are you searching for?

A Real Good Slime!

Field day is something very exciting at our school. It takes a lot of dedicated volunteers to pull off an event like this. This year at our school Field Day started with the principal getting slimed. The slime was made of an oatmeal goo that one of the coaches made up. This year the class that raised the most money for the bounce houses got to pull the rope that slimed the principal. I think that our principal is a pretty neat guy to get a trash can of goo poured over him with 600 kids watching.

The coaches did a great job getting this event ready. I really appreciate all their hard work. Hard work like this often goes unnoticed. I know that schools often have their flaws, and we tend to focus on the bad stuff. I think that we often don't notice the great stuff that happens. As a strong critical parent, I want to take time to applaud the staff at our little school! Great job-Guys! It was a great slime and a great day for the students!

A Slow Change

A strange thing has happened to my thinking since we moved. The change has been slow. I have found myself wondering where does the worship service at church fit. I know that great theological minds probably have wrestled with this already, but I sincerely have been wondering where does the worship service fit in my life.

I am at a time in my life where I am questioning the church scene. I am not abandoning what I know to be true. My savior and the truth that comes from the Bible is what I cling to, but I am starting to face the world and wonder- are we(Christians) up on the times.

The large worship time is becoming hard for me. I am finding myself just wanting to be known. I know that everyone says join a small group and that may be all I need. The fact is that I don't like a show on Sundays. I like the simply worship and biblical teaching. I like creativity too. I like honesty and authenticity. I like relevance to my life.

I don't like choirs, and I don't like the hugeness of it all. I am not sure why this has been on my heart for the last couple of years. I think this is a time in my life where I am analyzing the church. I am by no means wanting to leave the church. I feel like Christ has given us the body to build each other up and remember Him. I just wish it was not such a production. I know that leaders in the church are doing the best that they know. I just wish that I could find a way to deal with my concerns. I think that this next generation will be looking for some of these similar traits, and I am truly burdened. It is a good thing that Christ does not act like me. He certainly is not concerned with how we do our worship as long as we do it!

One of a Kind

Of course, I must say something about Kenzie. She is sweet, but certainly knows how to get her way. The others are so shy at times, but somehow Ken did not receive that shyness. She is so smart. As I read with Maddie, Kenzie often tells me the next word. I don't think she can read. I think she figures out the context of the story and goes from there. Sometimes, I get a little worried about how many things she knows already. I certainly did not teach her any of it.

She is resourceful. She somehow ends up with things that I never dreamed she could have. The funny thing is that she has an excuse for all of them. I love her dearly, and I remember how surprised that I was to learn that I was pregnant with her. She was a surprise that has turned out to be a joy. She completes our family and brings spice to it too.

My Reflection

If I could describe Maddie, I would have to say she is sweet as could be. When she was first born, I was really ready for her. She did not cry much, and she was very easy going. Her asthma and allergies have been a challenge for her and us, but she doesn' t let that slow her down. She has such a kind spirit about her. She tends to have a strong desire to be obedient.

She loves the outdoors and loves sports. I often wonder how much to push her in sports. I really have no desire to be the parent that places their child in every sport, but I do want to push her to her potential. I know a lot of parents don't pursue their children's interests. They only pursue their own. The results are that a lot of kids end up settling for less in life. They never find their special place or thing that makes them feel like they fit. I want to help Maddie find that in life.

She really reminds me a lot of me. We have similar personalities. Sometimes, I think that I am looking at my reflection. She tends to take what is giving to her and doesn't complain-at least not much! She is so beautiful and not only on the outside. I really am blessed to be her mother!